Saturday, April 26, 2014
Rejected by the lesbians.
Went to the lesbian meeting tonight - they asked if I would speak next week - I said yes. Then I got home and called and asked if I needed to be gay to speak - they said yes. Gay or bisexual. I said "Oh - well I'm very open - so but um - no no I'm not gay." She was like "No - sorry - you can come to the meeting but you really can't qualify." I felt so fucking dumb. Who gets rejected for NOT being gay? And who says "Oh - I'm very open but..." What the fuck is that?? I have been going to that meeting and not being sure whether or not I should be there - just doing what my father taught me which is - If you don't want to hear no - don't ask. Well so there you go - now I know and I heard - no. I feel like such a turd. Well at least I stayed sober today. Maybe tomorrow I can actually help someone else - that's more of the point I think. Good night my sweet Bluebers.