Oh BOY.

That sounds so dramatic.  This blog is now going to become about me trying to get my comedy back - or not even back to be a fucking comedian I'm so annoyed.  I saw my friend last night and she was fearless and I promised myself I would be fearless tonight.  I worked on my set and I got nervous working on it because it's so dirty but I was like fuck it - here it is lots of people are dirty - I'm doing it.  I get to the show and there's a 16 year old girl, her Grandma and her fucking Aunt from Tennessee or whatever in the front row - OR COURSE.  There were also a bunch of teachers and I was like oh - maybe I could do what - all my teacher material - I have like one joke - NO.  So I was like - fuck it - I'm just doing it.  I do my material and then they end up walking out and to be honest my reaction to them leaving and them leaving was the funniest part of my set!!  UGH!!  So confusing.  I taped it and the worst part was them making other people uncomfortable but also - my jokes were just way to fucking long.  When I got to the punch lines - they laughed - that's it.  Whatever - part of me was happy I made them walk out - I stirred something in them so much they left.  Good.  Ugh - but here's the great part.  I WOULD NOT LET ME BEAT MYSELF UP!!  I came home, ate some healthy food, watched a T.V. show, took a bath.  That's it.  I self-soothed.  I went and did the fucking show and I was funny and I'm not apologizing for what I think is funny and I'm not going to feel ashamed about who I am - I'm fucking sick of it.  IT'S SO LAME.  Okay I am exhausted - I have to wake up and train someone at the store tomorrow and I have to finally do my laundry tomorrow night.  Blech.  Good night my sweet Blueberness.