Of course - things changed!

I got a part in something - it's just little and I filmed the audition on my phone but they hired me and it pays - AMAZING.  I did the work today and things shifted - I called someone and did 3 tenth steps, then I talked to a newcomer on the phone and I called other people to see how they were.  I listened to an alanon phone meeting - that was amazing.  Amazing?  That's not the right word - I got a lot of relief from it.  I also went to my regular Tuesday meeting, sat next to my new sponsor and farted the whole time (thank you) and then went to class.  THEN I went and got my check from work and holy fuck that was creepy - it wasn't quite even 10:30 and it was not feeling good in that area - it seemed so late!  Anyway - what is confusing is last night I took a bath and I gave myself a massage and I groomed myself and got a good night's sleep but it really didn't do anything for me - I mean what does it for me is the meetings and doing  the program stuff but okay and I don't get it but that's alright - here's the thing - when do I get to feel sexy again?  Maybe I don't!  Maybe I will never feel sexy again.  Between this skin fungus, the burn I gave myself sleeping in Selsum Blue overnight and the HORRIBLE rash I got from the lotion I have been putting on it doesn't make me feel sexy what will??  Well I am so tired right now and I have work in the morning plus filming that little part tomorrow night.  How fun right?  I finally told the comedy club I can't work on Fridays.  I should just give up Thursdays too.  Not yet.  Oh boy - hope they don't mind the skin rash - well they saw it in the video submission right?  Love you Bluebie.