Let's start with the positives.

I am alive and sober and I did get a lot of sleep last night. There is heat on in here and I have had plenty to eat today and I took my vitamins. This is so hard to do - I want to focus on the negative so badly. Here is the greatest thing I learned today - besides knowing that I have a ton of material waiting to be written. Her Lady Wonder said that if I was able to get and stay sober than I can manage my life in other ways and get out of this situation where I live. So there you go. I looked at apartments and now I'm going to start asking around. I'm also going to write it out - right now. And pray. I'm going to pray. I need to go. She is going to be paying me one whole week late for this job. Can you believe that? this is all going to change. It's all going to shift and change. Yes - all I need is a new apartment, a new job, and a boyfriend. I also need to get creative work and to get in shape. It's all going to happen. Why not?? What else is there???? This why I got sober - to be HAPPY, JOYOUS AND MOTHER FUCKING FREE!!