The class was fucking amazing.

I really am so happy I am there and it was worth everything to take the night off from work. I was so nervous all day and I seriously thought I was going to bail a million times. I wanted to lay down and go to sleep so much. What a bizarre defense mechanism that is? Just lay down? Jesus. Thank God Her Lady Wonder told me to push through it - she is so smart. So bizarre. I cried the whole way home I was so happy. I cried in the bathroom, on the train and on the street. I was so surprised that someone could see something in me to be nurtured and FEEL it also. He said FEEL. He also said that he and the teacher whose class I wanted to be in originally, talked a lot about me and that he really liked me. WHO KNEW?? I am still very much in my own way but I am on a different path now. For sure. This all feels so serendipitous to me. I can't believe I'm going to go waitress tonight. It was so totally amazing to not work on a Friday night and do something creative - really creative - for ME - instead. I even came home and played my ukulele. I am beginning to open up creatively. Jesus - I'm exhausted. Gotta go and take care of myself and my day. Class again on Monday - WOW - how is that going to be??? BYE BLUEBIE I LOVE YOU.