Oh my fucking blog.

It's totally cold and there is still no heat in my room. Yesterday TNSDAC first husband ran around "fixing" the heat when all he really did was turn it on. Whatever I just hope the dog is okay - it's so insane. I have to move and more than that I am so over this - these people are sad and awful. He's crazy. He is exactly like TNSDAC - totally narcissistic and needy and INTENSE and exhausting. He's a little better but not much. He isn't really nice. His eyes never quite meet mine and he talks really loudly in a really high voice like people that are about to completely lose their shit. He was like "OH THERE"S NO HEAT?? DO I NEED TO DRAIN THE RADIATOR??? IT'S 66 DEGREES ON THE THERMOSTAT DOWN HERE!!!" The whole time he was blinking his eyes like a maniac. Since when is 66 degrees really warm and I am 4 floors up?! Why would I lie and say there is no heat getting up there? Okay - I get that maybe he doesn't get it. I also get that he and Creepy are both liars. It is just in their nature. I'm just over this. He also had the balls to say - okay - I'm not even kidding - he said to me "Oh I'm leaving tomorrow and you had mentioned (then he covers up his mouth with his hand like a 90 year old woman and SPELLS this out because the guests were right there) the R, E, N, T and if you could get it to me that would be great. Are you going to work???" First of all - what the fuck. Second - no it's 10 in the morning and I'm all dressed up to go to Duane Mother Fucking Reade. Here is the thing....As far as I can tell Creepy broke up with this guy and then offered to take care of him for the rest of his life if he stayed at his house in Michigan and took care of everything there, helped with the bills (meaning paying them with Creepy's money)and take care of the other house they own next door. So this guy - let's call him Lady Lollipop Pants - LLP - he moved out of New York permanently and is getting taken care of by Creepy. Meanwhile - he seems like he has totally - given up somehow. I don't want to be like that. He didn't realize his dreams I guess. I just don't want to be like that. I know, I know - don't look at what I don't want but SERIOUSLY. He lives this like - ew - I can't explain it. Yesterday he went in my room and said the dog wasn't shivering. Then after he got the heat turned on he called and said "Guess who isn't shaking anymore!!!" In that crazy high I'm about to blow a gasket voice. He ran from room to room draining the air out of the radiators like a maniac and I kept telling him he just needs to turn the heat up and wait. If you turn the heat on - it comes on and then the radiators are warm. Okay - how the fuck am I going to get out of this. I have to take a chance. I'm just over it - it's time to move on. I deserve better and I want to be around better people that don't lie and aren't gross and creepy. Why do I feel guilty saying that? Because they are my friends? Because I live there and I am safe more or less? It's not okay. I deserve better. They would do for themselves in a second. I get it - I know it's hard and why bother caring about me - I'm not making sense. I don't have to hate them but I do want to get away from them - seriously. Okay. I will keep writing this for 3 more years and finally move. I should make a goal and DO IT. Prayer. I'm going to pray. Bye Bluebie. p.s Fucking Lady Lollipop Pants.