I think I must have wicked PMS. I cried hysterically last night for 15 minutes and stared at myself on camera while doing it. What the fuck is wrong with me? I finally got a web cam (which is where the watching came from) and it was 30 dollars and so easy to install. Okay - so now I can skype. I'm so lonely. It's so hard to have no one to come home to. I have the dog - thank GOD and I love her so much and she is sooo sweet. But I would also love a family. I think maybe reading this book is making another layer of stuff come up for me. I was so sad about my dead boyfriend last night. He would have been 40 next month. Ugh - it's just heart breaking. Anyway - holy fuck - I was so late here today. I took a shower though and got ready. I washed my hair - took care of myself. I just couldn't get out of bed. Even though I went to bed at a decent time - 12:15 - right? So that meant I would get 8 hours of sleep and have plenty of time to get ready. Maybe it's the rain? I am still so tired. I can't believe how hard it is all this. Working. Oh dear - okay. I'm not even working. I had meatloaf when I got here - put on my make-up, researched inexpensive sagging face lotions and now I'm writing this. I checked to see if anyone called here, turned on the lights and rewrote the end of the day report because the Internet kept shutting off yesterday. Oye yoi yoi. Anyway I should go and read some more of this book.. WOW - yeesh. Bye Bluebie.
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