It's cold - I don't feel well and I feel so gross. It has been so slow at this store, she still hasn't paid me and is ignoring my emails. I can't believe I have to go work again tonight more. I'm so tired. I let myself go to sleep now even. The second hand smoke last night when I felt sick was so harsh. Okay - whatever - I'm lucky I have jobs. There are worse things than second hand smoke - at least I don't have to have sex with Tall Not So Dark And Creepy. He must have the worst relationship with his own father to have married Creepy. I swear they are trying to kill me. I will be okay - I just need to go to a meeting, get a good night's sleep and keep going forward. It's cold which is depressing but somehow someway it's got to be okay - right?? I have a nasty cold - I'm not supposed to feel super great. Okay - I'm going to go and - read more of this book and get ready to get out of here on time so I can get to that meeting. But first I feel poetry in me:
Please dear God let me find myself
And not the one that I think will make people like me
Help me to be strong and real
Soft and supple
like gorgeous expensive boots on sale plus a discount but look super awesome
Help me to keep my sense of humor and sense of reality (the one I'm getting now)
Help me to not feel sorry for myself or take a shit on my roommate
Please dear God take care of those who are cold tonight and need a warm hug.
Please help me to sent them love and help where I can.
Help me to be humble and to have self esteem at the same time
I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO ASK BUT THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BOOKS SAY I SHOULD HAVE.
Also help me to mind my own business (whatever that means)
and be nice to myself.
Again help the cold and lonely.
Bye God - bye Bluebie.
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