Hi Bluebie.

I am at the store again. It is freezing out today and there was no heat in my room last night or today. The poor dog is freezing. I just really have to move. listen everyone always complains in the winter about too much or not enough heat - I get that. But I am over it. How is there heat up to the 3rd floor but not the 4th? I had a talk with Tall Not So Dark And Creepy's first husband and do you know what he told me?? He said TNSDAC has had lots of young dudes he has tried to help through life and that several of them have died. What? Or at least 2. One had an asthma attack and died (WHAT?????) and the other one crashed a plane he was flying. Oh my fucking GOD you can't make this shit up. What the fuck am I doing living with this guy? His first husband also said that TNSDAC wanted to have something with Cretona. Um - WOW. He wanted to have a relationship with him. Cretona is totally straight. I wonder if Cretona knew? Ugh - anyway - I am so over living in that house and what the fuck am I going to do? It is so cold in this store also. I have the space heater on me. Yeesh. I just have to pray and keep going forward. This is really weird and scary. Scary? I don't know - I'm being melodramatic. I am just tired and frustrated. Not a single person has come in here today. I should rearrange things but I just don't want to. I prayed and meditated this morning. I ate healthy and I took my vitamins and supplements. I made the mistake of looking at my ex-husband's pictures of him performing and saw the boyfriend before him performing with him. With that stupid tattoo of my name on his arm crossed out. He looks totally insane. The ex-husband. The ex-boyfriend looks GORGEOUS still. I have got to move on. I have to find my power and move on from all of this. My neck is so stiff. Bye Bluebie.