Just got home and no dog.

This is painful.  That's all there is to it.  How am I going to get up and get to this shoot tomorrow?  I have to wake up at 5:30 again.  Okay - well - I guess I just have to do it.  There isn't a dog but there is a fly, roaches, mice and a fat fucking smoking super - so I'm not alone.  That's good.  Oh boy.  Well.  I took care of myself by not going to the comedy club.  I went to a meeting - a teeny, tiny gay mens meeting.  It was so small that we went around the room - TWICE - sharing.  Holy fuck.  Can you even imagine I keep thinking about that camera man - but it's in such an unhealthy way.  I'm just attracted to him and SO WHAT?  I kept talking yesterday so he could here me and I kept listening to what he was saying - totally eves dropping and then I was repeating what he was saying - omg - it was a mess.  I was also talking about the dog like she was - you know - fully alive and well.  Now she's dead an I was like "Oh boy - how am I going to explain this one."  TO WHO??  The guy who is COMPLETLEY not interested in me??  How fucking weird is that?  I'm so manipulative - almost without even realizing it.  I'm so sad - I'm so sad she's not here - I miss her so much.  She was such a good friend to me - such a sweet girl - oh.  This just fucking hurts - that's all there is to it.  There's also loud music playing - awesome.  Ugh - who cares??  It's nice out - play your music.  Love you Bluebie - love you so much.