Good day.

I suppose I can say today was a good day.  I went and got some pictures done and it was fairly fast and I think we got what I needed.  I think - we went right to her house and checked them out and I think they are okay.  I then went to work and worked.  So this weekend consisted of me working, class, pictures and more working.  They fired the general manager at the club - my friend.  That was so drama today.  I have to work in the morning.  I came home and took the dog out tonight and I had to help her take a poop - I had to hold her up so she could poop.  She kept falling over when she tried to get in position.  I just can't do it - I can not take this dog and put her to sleep - can't do it.  She's sleeping right there in her bed right now with her tail curled around her legs and just pointed up in the air a little bit - I love when she does that.  Ugh - it's so sad - seeing her fade away.  Poor thing - I wonder if she's in pain?  How would I know?  I am up way to late - it took me awhile to get organized when I got home tonight - put my stuff away - get myself ready for bed, yoga, floss, take my make-up off  - you know - get myself a little ready for tomorrow.  Holy fuck - it is so much better being sober.  Who can do any of this stuff drinking?  How could I have fit that in to my day today?  It was a full time job getting wasted all the time.  The doing of it, the getting of the stuff and the time it took to recover from it.  It's so sad - I don't even want to think about it.  Okay so I should go to bed.  I mean I am in bed right now but I should go to sleep.  I'm going to go the movies tomorrow night with a guy - ha - a guy.  Whatever - I want to see the movie.  I also still feel mad about the guy and I really want to move past that - free myself from it.  Happy, joyous and free - that's what they say in the program you can have if you get sober.  You don't have to drink anymore and you can be happy, joyous and free.  I would say I have at least begun to drive on the road towards happy, joyous and free.  Maybe I just turned onto the road.  Sleepy time.  Good night sweet Bluebie of my dreams.