Thursday, September 9, 2010


LAst night he playing it at 1:00 a.m. in the morning and today he started a little before noon. He is playing on the 2nd floor with the doors to the room wide open and I seriously feel like he should just jerk off in my face. That's how AWFUL listening tot hat is. It's so fucking loud - there are no "SONGS" so there's nothing to hum along to and why does he have to do it so selfishly. It's like being woken up by someone putting a piano in your room and starting to play but only improvising. It's so selfish - what a fucking asshole. And the only part of my day that was going to be okay was going to therapy and guess what?? Not going to happen - my therapist had a fall and broke her foot. You know I feel like he wakes me up on purpose - and he thinks this is a pleasant way to do it. Whenever I go downstairs he stops playing. I feel terrible about my therapist but honestly I can't get over my rage right now about this instrument. Why can't he shut the doors? OR HERE"S AN IDEA - DON"T PLAY SO FUCKING LOUDLY. I know you are going to find this hard to believe but I am in the worst mood. I really am. Tired - my eye is pink - like pink eye and it won't go away. I got a friend a job at my work and they told him he said something offensive to one of the comedians and he freaked out on them. He told off both of my bosses. And honestly - they deserved it. She is a bully who never goes to worka nd the other one is lazy who drinks all the time at work. And he has her be the boss because he doesn't want to deal with anything. I don't blame them - I get it. Do I even mean that or am I just saying that because I think they might read this one day?? Look - I think my friend said all the things people want to say to thema nd never do. Okay - great - good for you - but also I got him a fucking job and when they repremanded him for something he told them to go fuck themselves in a really dramatic and - ugh I don't know - I wasn't there. But he told my general manager that he needed to "man up" and run his own club and that - ugh - who cares?? THIS IS MY LIFE????? Listening to this guy jerl off with this instrument and being freaked out about a job that I don't feel safe at anyway and that SUCKS. They let those scumbags hit on young women and let that bouncer SELL CIGARETTES and the big boss drinks 14 beers every night andt hen drives home and you jave the nerve to tell my friend to not be so gay? Hypocrits and pieces of shit. I can't take it anymore - this house - this city. Just as my friend was telling me that she called him and repremanded him I went outside to walk my dog and the guy who lives here for FREE had put the most aggessive sign on the recycle garbage can that said NO LIDS ON BOTTLE SAND CANS - SERIOUSLY. So fucking obnoxious. Now I'm playing Kesha - really?? At least it drowns him out. I'm miserable. I'm broke I still owe him so much for rent - for the fucking carpet. I feel on the edge - so not okay. Just filled with rage - stuck, angry - feeling violated - and I swear someone went on my computer when I went to work one night last week. Something is weird with it. Ugh I can't even explain it. I feel old and I really want to escape. I am not enjoying feeling these feelings. I am however really enjoying playing Kesha. Haha - play that with your big stupid asian instrument. Who WAKES people up ON PURPOSE??? How fucked up is that? OH RIGHT I LIVE HERE I CREATED THIS. Fuck you too.

1 comment:

  1. Wow - I was really angry. I was one year and 6 days sober! And pissed - yikes.