Of course I said i was feeling better AND

then yesterday sucked majorily huge hairy balls. Sort of. I was depressed and I weighed myself at the vet and the amount I was saying (JOKINGLY!!!) that I weigh was/is true. Ohhhhhhhh - OHHHH - ohh - big BIG - steam boat sound sigh. Then I went to a meeting and shared about it. Which I actually - fuck it - I'm glad. Look - I can feel really sorry for myself - and if I don't SAY it - well it won't get OUT of me and I won't stop doing it. Now I need to talk about my lack of career and lack of - wait wait - that's not true. I mean my jealousy of other people's careers and my seeming inability to go have my own career. Or to at least TRY. I am qualifying at another meeting today and maybe I can work it out then. Is it bad that I write about this on here? I don't know if it is innapropriate or not. Well on an upswing I ran my errands yesterday and I had 2 healthy meals. I ran all my arrands for the most part and I have another day off today. It's rainy and I think that makes me sad sometimes. I went to bed early!! I only got about 7 hours of sleep but I think that's all I needed. That money tree just isn't doing well. Ever since it fell over. How upsetting is that? I looked up how to take care of it and I really just don't know what else to do. I think it might actually not be - fuck I have no idea. I will tell you what though - I'm getting another one if it dies. It's droopy liek it needs water but you aren't suppose to water them that much. I think it needs more sunlight. Maybe I just feel uncomfortable and upset as a general rule. I'm just wired to be upset and feel sorry for myself. Well I'm goingt o keep doing the next right thing. I just need to call - what should I call him - Larry. Larry??? Whatever - I need to call Larry and tell him I'm sorry. Her LAdy Wonder said I will feel better. I feel like a 2 year old. Ugh. Like a grumpy, angry - BORING 2 year old. I watche Californiacation before bed last night and I had sex dreams all night long. Holy shit in 2 days that guy had more sex than I have had in a year and a half. Honestly - what the fuck - I need to have sex again at some point. Okay - bye. Sorry I'm such a miserable dick.