Sunday, September 26, 2010

I don't mean to pressure myself

but seriously - what do I want? I need a vision. I need and want to be working towards a goal where I am taking REALLY good care of myself. Is that what I mean? YES. I can't keep waitressing and as I write this for some weird reason I'm getting goosebumps on my head. Okay - I'm getting better all the time. Today I walked to the 125th and Lexington train inorder to get to work that way. I saved between 15 and 20 dollars because I almost always take a car on Saturdays. Plus it was gorgeous and it feels great to walk. I stretched a few minutes ago - which felt AMAZING. I ate some fruit today and - okay - I had 5 pieces of pizza, some shrimp fried rice AND ice cream. I love making people laugh and I love being goofy. But work is really an unbalanced place for me and my EGO is so involved there. That being said - I have a degree. I can look for art teaching jobs. Hmmm. I could like that. Love that even? Perhaps. I'm going to keep meditating. I really think it's helping to clean out my brain and my leftover emotions. Yikes - yes - like those refridgerators on Hoarders. CHRIST those are sooooo scary. Okay. I would love a beach house near my parents and Michele. I can be funny and goofy a million ways. I need to sleep. Thank you for a great night at work. I love you blue blog.

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