Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Let me start with something positive which seems

IMPOSSIBLE right now. Thak God I never said anything to the creepy landlord before I left and thank GOD for my sponsor who already talked me down once today. I got NO sleep and well - okay - that's not positive. I'm clean. I just ate a delicious danish and now I feel better. I have coffee and water. Okay - the owner here at the store makes me so nervous. she asked me to switch my schedule and I don't want to. Let me ask Miss Jones? NO - I HATE working on Mondays. Okay - Lady Wonder already told me to not make any decesions and just take it easy since I had no sleep and that's no place to act from. I'm just so upset - what am I doing? Why am I here in this city? I'm not an actress - I'm a waitress and a boutique worker whi=o takes a class. FUCK - this isn't positive. I'm so tired - he was smoking all night long. I don't want to work here and I'm terrified I will get fired. I hate living there (most of the time) and I petrified he will ask me to leave. I'm between a rock and another rock and there's a rock on top of me also. Exhausted. Well - I don't mean to brag but I have to put these shirts in the computer and out on the floor. I think it is fair to say I am feeling VERY sorry for myself and that I am - okay - tired. Bye Blueberry - sad hugs and kisses. Just hugs - kissingmakes me uncomfortable.

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