Friday, March 9, 2012

I got my taxes done today

and wow - not what I wanted. I was hoping for a refund but this second job puts me in a different bracket and now I have to pay. Here's the good part - I talked it out with Her Lady Wonder and now I just need to really focus on - Jesus - being more careful and aware of my money. That was so hard to write. Okay - so there it is. She also said I can call the IRS and set up a payment plan - so okay. Last year I paid my taxes so late that I had to pay a fine. Holy fuck!! So I did them on time - and well - whatever. Okay - so I went to class tonight and that was wonderful. It's so weird to say this but it's time for me to grow. I mean - audition. I have the pictures, I'm getting in shape in class - now I just need to focus. Jesus - I wrote that and I felt my whole brain shift. Focus. Okay - I'm so tired. I was soooooooo grumpy after I left the tax guy and he is SO nice and really was great but I came home - walked home and took a nap and when I got up I was soooo grumpy. I didn't want to go to class or the meeting. I felt better after the meeting and then I went to the diner with the ladies and it was SO fun - so great to laugh. So the time I got to class I was so much less miserable. I'm working at the store tomorrow and then at the club tomorrow night - long day. I have absolutely no idea what I was just going to write. I need ot go to sleep - long day tomorrow. I can feel something growing - changing - I don't know. Well - tomorrow is a new day and I'm so grateful I'm sober - that's all. How much harder would this day have been? I would have gotten WASTED after the tax guy or eaten a cow or both. I also realized when I took my nap that sometimes I wouldn't even have been getting out of bed until that time - 3:30. How sad is that? Isn't that the saddest thing thinking of someone sleeping until 3:30? So my life is so much better. I should say this also - tonight in class I realized how acting is PLAYING. Right? I was having trouble with my monologue because I was trying to make it to realistic and he had this girl come up and sit with me and it changed EVERYTHING. She was so generous and it made it so much easier to PLAY. She's really quite wonderful this girl. I mean I love her acting also - and she is sweet and nurturing. I mean without being annoying. She's funny. I really like the class so much - I LOVE it - what am I saying!! Now I need to just - oh THAT'S what I was going to say. My friend from the comedy club - he said if I'm afraid of it - that's what I have to do. SO NOW - I have to face auditioning and putting it out there. Okay - let's start with that. Bye Bluebie - love you.

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