Did a show tonight....

to get myself ready for a show on Saturday night. It was fun actually. Huh - I'm not sure what else to say. I am still in pain from this medicine and anytime I eat gluten it super effects me. Perhaps affects me. Well - so I took care of myself last night and today - I told my therapist about it and I said maybe other people don't need as much self-care as I do and she said "Maybe other people don't have as hard of time being nice to themselves." She said it differently than that but that's what she meant and that's the truth. Okay - well - I'm learning. I just realized I have 2 years and 7 months sober almost. Huh - well - whatever - one day at a time. I realized tonight at that show that I could seriously use some writing time and some performance at home time. You know - memorize the set I'm going to do. Also have more integrity about the work. I'm no longer petrified to perform and I'm enjoying it. I still get totally nervous but not in the same sticking way. SO okay - I can feel the desire for it to be more art like. What? I just want to make a better fucking cake that's all. I'm hungry for a delicious cake not just something sugary. And by cake I mean art and by art I mean, for this discussion - comedy. I felt like I had something funny to say but I guess not. Okay - gotta get myself ready for work tomorrow!! Love you Bluebers. PS I'm reading the 4 agreements everyday as part of my prayer & meditation and it is helping SO FUCKING MUCH. Slowly but surely. PSS I just downloaded that song My Valentine by Paul McCartney so I could dance to it. I thought it was Michael Buble singing it. Weird.