Tuesday, March 4, 2014
I don't know.
That's all I know about this guy right now - I mean I like him so much but I don't know. He's so sweet - so caring and kind but this morning I was so thrown off myself after making out with him for 2 hours last night. I mean it's so intense. Who the fuck am I? I don't know - I am getting my feet back on the ground and I need to do it from a loving place for myself. Am I making sense? It would just be so easy to lose myself in him and I just can't. It will ruin it and - and I will be angry. Also - I have worked SO hard - why let it all go now and for what? I think it's my intimacy issues. It's easier to lose myself in someone rather than to grow and keep getting to know him. I am sooooo attracted to him and I can TALK to him. When has that ever happened? Okay - also I have pms so let's just let this go for right now. I have to steam some dresses and - I don't know - write in my journal. Haha and hopefully something else that might be of service to someone other than myself. Love you Bluebie and your amazing listening powers.