Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I don't know.

That's all I know about this guy right now - I mean I like him so much but I don't know.  He's so sweet - so caring and kind but this morning I was so thrown off myself after making out with him for 2 hours last night.  I mean it's so intense.  Who the fuck am I?  I don't know - I am getting my feet back on the ground and I need to do it from a loving place for myself.  Am I making sense?  It would just be so easy to lose myself in him and I just can't.  It will ruin it and - and I will be angry.  Also - I have worked SO hard - why let it all go now and for what?  I think it's my intimacy issues.  It's easier to lose myself in someone rather than to grow and keep getting to know him.  I am sooooo attracted to him and I can TALK to him.  When has that ever happened?  Okay - also I have pms so let's just let this go for right now.  I have to steam some dresses and - I don't know - write in my journal.  Haha and hopefully something else that might be of service to someone other than myself.  Love you Bluebie and your amazing listening powers.

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