Weeelllllll and sooooo....

another Saturday down - I at least made some money but I gave myself 2 weeks last Saturday and I'm sticking to it.  I feel so GROSS - just sticky and gross.  UGH - I don't know - I managed to say no to going out of town with this new band tomorrow - I have a super early hair appointment and I need to get to some meetings and take care of myself.  I need groceries and to clean the shower and I need sleep!!  I'm not going to get any of that tomorrow but I can get a little tonight and a lot tomorrow night.  I took the subway home tonight even though I could have sprung for a cab - I guess but WHY?  I get to read on the bus and the subway and I save enough to buy groceries - for real just by not taking these cabs.  The amount of money I spent on cabs - oh lord - it's gross.  They must be wondering where I am - all the cab drivers.  Unreal.  I think I had to get sober from taking cabs too - whoa.  I am so lonely but it's okay - life is lonely.  I'm learning how to take better & better care of myself so - so so what?  Ha - I'm still lonely!  I talked to my first sponsor today - omg - she was so nice - it was so wonderful to talk to her.  So that's nice.  I need to go to sleep - I love you Bluebie.