Amazing.

I went to a meeting last night and it was great - I felt completely different after I left.  I didn't want to go - it was cold (it's even colder today!) but I went and I'm SO grateful I did.  I met a woman who has been relapsing for years.  Anyway - then all I wanted to do was go home and eat ice cream - A LOT of ice cream.  I knew it would make me feel terrible though and I have been weaning myself off of sugar - so do you know what I did instead?  I made myself a really beautiful healthy dinner, lit candles, watched a bit of TV, meditated and went to bed - early and got a wonderful night's sleep and woke up feeling SO MUCH BETTER.  Then I came to work early so I could talk to my alanon sponsor but the buses kept going by at 79th street as out of service so do you know what I did in this 10 degree weather?  I walked through the park.  What?  Okay - it's not even THAT big of a deal but I also had to walk through the icey park because the sidewalk (HA!) was closed off due to the winter conditions so I had to walk through the ice covered regular park.  How ridiculous is that?  I was like "Oh my God - how much do I want to talk to this woman and get better that I am willing to walk through the icey park?"  Oh also - there were no cabs in case you were wondering why I wouldn't have just done that.  I was standing there with my alanon book open doing step work in the 10 degrees and I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF.  Okay so I just sent my scene partner a message saying I booked a room for us to rehearse in and he wrote back not THANK YOU but "Alright - till then."  WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.  Dear GOD - let me get through this and somehow powerfully on the other side.  It's not that ridiculous of a thing to say except we have absolutely no rapport whatsoever and for the most part he has been incredible difficult, unkind and selfish.  WELL I WONDER IF I WAS EVER LIKE THAT???  Talk about a challenge - okay - yeesh.  I have to put a huge order into the system and rearrange this store.  Thank you for listening sweet blog.