Larni fixed me up on a date tonight......

Oh boy - yes - yes I am going on a date tonight with someone who Larni fixed me up with.  He is a nice guy - I've known him for years so it's cool.  Have I written about this already?  I don't know - anyway - he's nice and when he called me he made me laugh so why not right?  We are going to the movies tonight.  I'm excited to go to the movies - I haven't been in a long time.  I got a decent night's sleep - took care of myself last night - did my yoga before bed - my whole nighttime routine and got 8 hours of sleep - so that's wonderful.  I forgot to call my God baby for his birthday and then when I remembered I called in a panic but my sister didn't even notice I didn't call - thank God.  I had sent my acting teacher a message saying how wonderful I thought that super intense OVERLLY (Can you imagine I'M saying that??) memorial was - and he never wrote me back.  So now I hate my acting teacher again.  He doesn't love me and now I do think he is a turd.  Okay and moving on.  I don't know about this guy - he's not gorgeous or anything - um - he's cute - he's funny but well I saw him once at a meeting and he was kind of a turd himself.  So what?  I'm always a turd.  Well - holy fuck I keep sneezing.  Anyway - yeah - well - I prayed and meditated this morning and I will just do what my sponsor said to do last night which is be of service today.  I'm also going to rewrite my sane and sound sex ideals.  I have no idea what I'm doing and let's face it - I have the worst taste in men and I can't pick one out for myself or in any way be in control of this so why don't I just turn it over to God - right?  I mailed my November rent thank God and now if I can just get a great - a GREAT AMAZING acting job then I could get health insurance and take care of myself.  I just need to be at the comedy club until December.  I'm almost caught up with things - I paid of my taxes finally and now I just owe my sister money.  So stressful but not as stressful as when I was getting evicted.  Being homeless is way more stressful than just being able to buy a purse.  Or shoes or whatever.  This is the know I don't want to untangle.  The knot of being responsible about money and also making enough of it.  Also feeling like I am deserving of love and knowing I'm not in control of where it's going to come from.  What?  Whaaaat???  Am I full of shit?  Am I bullshitting right now?  No - I don't know.  Okay - well I have to pee bye.