Project I Deserve Better.

So sometimes when I give up I get on my feet somehow.  I worked my ass off this weekend and I was just able to pay most of my bills and my rent.  Do you know what is so crazy?  I was taking cabs all the time home from the club and guess what?  I can't afford it anymore.  I saved SO MUCH money this weekend not doing that.  I didn't have to leave the club at 3 in the morning or I wouldn't have done that but what have I been doing?  Ugh - this money stuff is so tricky for me.  It's more than that though.  It's the delaying of gratification, the sitting through the discomfort.  I just don't naturally want to do that.  But I deserve better in life and I'm not going to get it unless I get better with this stuff.  Am I making sense?  I'm getting upset.  Why?  I'm uncomfortable at this table right now.  I have to go - I really need a walk in the park.  Bye Bluebie - love you.