Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I'M HAVINGA LOT OF FEELINGS!!
Ugh - how totally not fun is that? I'm so fucking uncomfortable. It's raining. I worked so hard at putting this apartment together and why am I so upset about it? It looks so much better - FEELS so much better. The cutest woman just came in here - she stops in now and again - she's older - in her 70's - white blond hair - super sweet and kind. She always buys things and she has fabulous taste. Last time she bought a scarf for a friend and I steamed it for her. Adorable woman. She has this kind of southernish voice with a little bit of a rasp to it. She just bought the prettiest earrings and looked at this gorgeous Indian necklace we have that's rubies, diamonds, pearls and emeralds. She had a scarf over her head to keep her hair safe from the rain I guess. I guess I just don't like to much pressure. How do I want to have boundaries and structure in my life but yet I don't like deadlines? What? I'm just tired. I had the weirdest dream about my parents farm last night. Every now and again I dream about it. I was all the way at the end of one field - all the way so the house looked small and I was in a car. It was so beautiful that it made me cry. So much green and loveliness - my mother said - oh you get such a different perspective from here don't you? I have to go and research how to get rid of my pet mouse. The little fucker ate through my bag of organic potting soil. I thought we could live together but we can NOT. So - so I asked it to leave but that didn't work so now I have to actually get it to leave. this feels very passive aggressive. I feel better writing. Okay Bluebers - love you.