Whoaaaaaa......

oh my GOD - I just read some posts from last year and WOW - wowowowowowow - so much has changed.  I was SO crazy and angry.  I feel like I am getting a different view on this whole day.  I'm not nearly as bitter and - ew - just a mess.  Oh it's so sad - I was so awful.  Okay but I am better.  I guess if my biggest problem right now is that I have a n unwanted pet mouse and that I'm not sure how to navigate my weekend well things are not that bad.  Whoa.  And things will keep getting better.  I will keep feeling my feelings and taking care of myself and it will get better.  I am so grateful that I have moved and that I still have this job.  I have class tonight and I have wonderful, hard working people in my life.  WOW - helloooo attitude adjustment.  I just have to keep working on turning my rage into love and on taking the time to be uncomfortable and to keep taking care of myself and going to alanon meetings.  Um - FOR REAL.  Ahhhhhhh - I need some water.  Love you Bluebs - still and always.  As a side not eI have been attracted to amongst many - one guy and I just got a call from a number I didn't recognize and I answered and this hot voice was like "My name" and I said "Yes??"  and then I started to PANIC.  "Oh no - he got my number - he wants something - how will I say no - I'm not into this - this is insane!!!"  Right?  The this guy(who is totally gay and not this guy at all) asked me to work on Friday.  I was like - ohhhhh - ohhhhhh - you aren't in love with me???  He was like - nooooo.  Jesus fucking Christ.  Bye.