I have to write this before I forget.....

First - taking care of my drunkenness and 2 - the small voice.  Yesterday I went to this meeting and the woman said that once she really realized without a doubt that she was an alcoholic she felt the responsibility to take care of it.  She said she felt very grateful for that - that she had that.  That struck me as so profound.  I have heard this before concerning art - I suppose all sorts of things but it never landed with me quite the way that hearing her say that did.  Taking responsibility for it - taking care of it.  So of course it is making me think of my other gifts - other being a strange word but it's what I wrote so there it is.  Taking care of those gifts.  It puts such a different angle on it perspective wise and it also sort of takes the ego out of it.  Okay - so 2 - the small voice.  Last week in a meeting I heard this guy talking about how he felt like when he hears that small voice tell him something - that's when he really needs to listen.  I hope this is making sense.  Well today I woke up late - I worked last night so I did a double yesterday and I took home the bus and the subway which is exhausting and takes forever so I went to bed much later than I would have.  It doesn't matter anyway - I always wake up late.  Okay so I had to take a shower and I did - then I knew that a woman had said she was going to be here right at 10 to try on these dresses she has on hold.  So I fed the dog and I was like - oh I will just go get on the train - it's 9:10 already - I still might not even make it on time and then this small voice said "Just walk the dog - just love the dog and walk the dog."  So I did and do you know what happened?  I was right on time for work.  I got here at 10 on the nose and do you know what else?  That lady still hasn't come.  Amazing.  I mean there is progress happening but it really doesn't feel like it at 11:45 p.m. on the subway when I made 49 dollars that night.  But I made 49 dollars.  Haha - I needed 49 dollars really.  It's going to shift and change - it has to - it's the nature of things and I just need to take care of my - stuff.  I want to eat eggs, cheddar, bacon and a side of cow.  Maybe a piece of lettuce.  Fuck the lettuce - just some water.  It's so clean and fresh in here - the cleaning lady was here this morning and I made it cute in here yesterday and it's sunny so it's nice.  Okay.  Okaaaaay.  Bye Bluebs - love you.