Thursday, July 3, 2014


I'm at work and it's super slow.  I think everyone is gone for the fourth already.  It's okay - I'm taking care of myself.  I went to therapy last night after a meeting so I was really taking care of myself.  Guess what I learned in therapy?  I have low self-esteem.  Ha.  Well - anyway - but she said I was doing things from an unconscious place to not take care of myself and now I can bring it into my conscious awareness and not do these things anymore.  OKAAAAAY.  NO PROBLEM.  Done and DONE.  Yeesh.  What do other people do with their time besides all this endless searching?  I guess have kids.  Well I would still need to do this even with kids and even MORE so with kids I'm sure.  So the next layer of my onion is self-care and self-acceptance.  Holy fuck it's unreal how uncomfortable that makes me.  Unreal.  Well - alright - fucking barf - isn't that what everyone is striving for or dare I say some people just do naturally?  I'm bringing the guy to meet my family this weekend.  Well - well I guess I am just taking a chance that's all.  So fucking scary.  Okay love you Bluebie bye.

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