Thursday, July 5, 2012

Waking up early is better here!!

I used to be so uncomfortable waking up early in Creepy's house because I had to walk by him sitting in the dark in order to walk the dog and I HATED talking to him first thing.  why am I being so negative?  My program is lacking a bit - I really need a meeting.  I woke up the other morning in Ct. and I was so angry and then I realized I needed a meeting and I brought myself to one.  First time ever.  My sister brought me to meetings (and she's not even an alcoholic - how amazing is that??) but I never took myself.  I could just feel the resentment growing inside me and I knew it was going to lead to a freak out so I got myself to a meeting.  Amazing - I only made 45 minutes of it because I got lost but WOW - what a difference.  I'm back in my new apartment and I already got a good night's sleep, prayed & meditated this morning, made coffee and walked the dog.  I went to Ct. for the Baptism and it was SO wonderful - I am so happy I was able to go - it was really special.  So wonderful to be with the family, be on the farm, go to the beach.  Beautiful.  The baby!!!  Oh my GOD he is such a sweet little monkey.  I never had to worry about my apartment being open or my privacy being invaded while I was gone.  I still have such resentment towards that house - I need to let it go - I can't afford it.  It makes me sick to think about it and I'm in SUCH a better place!!  I have boundaries and borders and privacy!!  I was able to grocery shop yesterday and last night when I was hungry I was able to eat a little bit of hummus and put it back in the fridge.  Then I had a little bit of salsa and put it back in the fridge!!  How fun is that???  I bought my healthy bread that needs to go in the freezer and guess where it is?  THE FREEZER!!!!  I am having a blast washing dishes and putting them in the cupboards and using and rewashing silverware.  And seriously it is 1000 times easier to walk the dog.  She is so blind, poor thing.  She wakes up happy though!!  I have a million things to do and the family is coming in tomorrow for my birthday.  Now I have a year here to figure out what I want to do.  I want a boyfriend, a career and a baby.  Hmmmmm.  Maybe go back to college.  Hmmmmm.  I will be able to have the room now to figure this out.  I can also make muffins!!  Hooray!!!!  Bye Bluebie - I love you!!

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