Cretona woke me up with the piano today

Haha - the kid is such a douche. It was 10 - is that early?? Maybe that is a reasonable time to start playing the piano badly and loudly. I turned the fan on and as soon as I stopped thinking negatively about him I was able to fall asleep. As soon as I stopped fighting the energy I was able to relax and go back to sleep. Then - A LONG while later when I woke up and turned off the fan I heard (even before I turned off the fan but it didn't wake me) the Guzcheng and the piano together. Really loud and really awful. You just can't hide your angst when you are letting God through you. That doesn't make any sense. I mean it's awful because it sound so angrily done and they don't play the instruments well. But I have to say it's amazing that they do it. The are able to be LOUDLY creative consistently. I kind of respect that. I'm trying to love bigger than all the things I dislike. Trying to see it from a larger more loving picture. I'm able to remove myself from it and it having anything to really do with me that way. Also it's more amusing. I actually stopped myself from talking shit at work last night. I was pissed too - it would have been a great rant. But I let it go and did my job and now - I think maybe I'm not so sure about what I was going to rant about. Maybe the person just takes care of themselves. I need to do that now - from a good place. Sharpen my senses. I'm so tired I sound crazy. My real self wants to lay down and be the victim OR be the most special one that everyone caters too. OR just not take care of myself in GENERAL and someone else does it while I sulk in the corner or perhaps the bathtub. I like to not really pay attention and guess at what is going on around me (using my gut type thinking) and then get angry, gossipy and ultimately wounded and not get what I want. TIME FOR A ROLE CHANGE HUH????? For real. I'm soooo tired but thanks to my fan I got some well needed sleep. OH and Blueberry I got the cutest blue dress from Forever 21 yesterday. It's so cute and I think it was $22.50. Yes - it was - how fun is that?? I had lunch with my cousin in Soho and it was so fun. I kicked a ladies dog by mistake and I started laughing and some guy started to laugh also. I didn't hurt the dog - he was a fat little sucker. Anyway I love you and I will talk to you later. I will write at you later. Hmmmm - hmmmm - I don't know - I will see you later. Yes - that I will do!!!