So here goes a boring climbed mountain story.....

I got home last night and the guy was back and at work and I could have saw him - did I write this already??  I didn't have him come over.  I''m dying to see him but I have a double today and I would have been crying through it.  I put myself to bed and got up and took care of myself and the dog - who thank God made it through the night without getting sick.  I was still late to work but - welllll - looks like I was more worried about praying, meditating and shaving.  I managed to take care of myself yesterday too even though I was so completely flipped out about the dog.  Look - I just have to say it again - my mind is blown that I took care of myself last night and went to bed.  In the past I would have been so worried that if I said no he would have slept with other women or I don't know - never talk to me again?  Just fear.  Who wants something done out of fear anyway?  Ew.  Fucking totally ew.  I just need to keep trusting that doing the right thing is actually the right thing to do.  Um - what??  Seriously though.  What else?  I have no idea - I'm starving.  I love you Bluebie - enjoy your cyberspace.  Ha - get it??  Yeesh.