For lack of a better direction to go in - let's go with positive....

I got up today and made myself coffee and drank water first.  I took a shower and put on clean clothes.  I took the dog out and I made my bed.  Last night I cleaned and put out fresh flowers because my mother is coming to visit tomorrow.  I didn't drink last night or this morning and I didn't drink last night.  I am doing my best not to worry since I learned this week that my incessant need to worry is based on a need to control.  How's that for a fucking epiphany???  Holy shit.  So.  The owner of the store here was a douche to me on Thursday and do you know why?  Because she double parked in front of the store in a bus stop and because I asked her a question she got a ticket.  Sooooo she came in and said to me with her eyes bugging out of her head "Um - next time I'm double parked don't start talking to me because you started talking to me and now I got a hundred dollar ticket so - um - yeah - because you started talking to me."  Then she went outside and did this insane jerking flip her hands out body shudder, gave me a dirty look and drove away.  I was like "I didn't know you were double parked...."  UM ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????  It has been so long since she has been so crazy.  That's not even my point.  My point is that after that happened I was like "Fuck this place, fuck this job, blah blah" - right - all that victimy bullshit.  Okay so today I was like "Okay - I'm not going to have a terrible day and do a terrible job because she was awful one day."  I told myself I was going to do my best and that I really appreciate the job and ALSO that I have no idea WHAT is going on with her or why she would behave in that manner.  It's also not my fault and I don't care.  Okay - so I came here, put on my make-up, did everything that needed to be done and made the store look cute and told myself I would sell some things and guess what?  I've sold some things.  One small step towards me not being effected by someone else's behavior - 3 days later.  It took 3 days but I got there.  It wouldn't have happened 3 months from now even a year and a half ago.  I'm writing long on here because I used up all my journal and I forgot to get a new one.  So that's good right?  I over came that and I'm over coming being a drunk.  My acting class is good and I'm learning more and getting stronger all the time.  The worry though - holy fuck - that is like a crazy drink for me.  So - one day at a time - I am working on that.  To let go - say I have no control to myself - don't try to figure out the future.......what are the positive actions of those last 2 things?  Be present......let the mystery of life be one with me (WHAT?) and let go.  I don't even know how to not worry.  I don't know what to do instead of trying to figure shit out all the time.  YEESH.  I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING BUT MYSELF AND EVEN THAT I NEED HELP WITH!!