Anxiety and dreams.

I had a dream I was at this beautiful house and there was a big family there and some friends - and me.  We were in the living room - one of those huge "cozy" gorgeous living rooms.  We were all trying to figure out why the Mom was having seizures.  So we are all trying to figure it out and I know - I just KNOW that I can figure it out.  She's had tons of tests and nothing makes sense and I suggest that she guess the oddest thing as the source.  Then she says - well - I think it might be the Viagra.  I realize that she must be right - it's the Viagra and I get really sad for her.  Her husband goes and gets the Viagra so we can all look at it - and there are lots of oooo's and ahhh's over it.  He has it in his hand with a little spoon.  Then she says after one of her kids says "Why are YOU taking Viagra" - she says "Oh - I'm not taking it......(dot dot dot).  Then I was really confused and I woke up after sleeping for 11 fucking hours.  I woke up once at 6 in the morning and I was so upset I wasn't getting up to go work on a sitcom.  I fell back to sleep and then I woke up and I was just upset.  I miss the Guy and I'm so weirded out by him being picked up by his son's mother.  I just - I know it's none of my business and I just - I'm just upset and I feel lonely.  What am I doing?  Why am I still here in this city?  Why am I pursuing this dream still and by pursuing this dream I mean stressing?  Seriously - what the fuck am I doing?  I know I'm not being nice to myself but why am I having a break-down right now?  I prayed and I meditated and I ate a healthy breakfast.  I'm going to therapy and a meeting.  Then I am going to waitress.  Why am I doing that to myself?  I sit never coming back?  Am I never going to be inspired again to go REALLY do comedy?  Am I just settling completely?  Why am I dating someone 14 years younger than me with a child?  I don't care about the child part or the age difference but - I just was so shocked last night when he said he was waiting for her to pick him up.  I asked if he was sleeping there and he said no.  I just - he usually pays so much attention to me and now - not so much.  My friend at work said this is just an excuse for me to run away sooner.  Sooner?  I'm upset - I need to go outside.  Sigh.