Sunday, April 22, 2012

Keeping it simple, keeping it clean....

those are my new - awarenessnesses and practices.  I got home last night from waitressing and it was a loooong night and I didn't make great money at all and I was SO tired by the time I got home at 3 in the morning.  Someones car alarm was going off and there were 3 people smoking under the window and I REALLY started feeling sorry for myself and getting mad and thinking how I couldn't possible brush my teeth or get ready for bed.  I also have been breaking out - and I realized the last 2 nights I hadn't done my night routine and I was suddenly struck by how - of course I'm breaking out - I walk all over the place in this dirty city - work hard and then go to bed with a dirty face?  Then I realized how much that little bit helps - just wash my face before bed.  Then I realized - oh - I missed meetings and then I got crazy.  I just need to keep it clean and keep it simple.  It's so the Tao - "Simple in thoughts and actions and you accord with the way things are."  So I flossed, brushed my teeth and washed my face and even gave myself a leg massage.  I put in earplugs - turned on the central air fan and went gloriously to bed.  I am once again back to my everyday 3 things rule.  1. Take care of my program - everyday. 2. Self-care - everyday. 3. Take care of my art - everyday - somehow - even if it's only one thing.  Jesus - it's so scary.  I literally have a pimple on the TIP of my nose - it hurts and is so red and it won't pop!  Ha and sigh.  I don't know why I'm like this - why I need programs and why I have to be so vigilant(or maybe I do) - but guess what?  I do.  That's all I know - that I do need these things.  So there you go - I relearned.  Is this making any sense?  I have to get ready to go to a show - one of the other girls in class is in a show.  I'm excited!!  I hope it's not horrifying - she is so sweet.  It's selling out so it must be pretty good - right?  Okay - bye Bluebie - love you!!!

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