Okay - let's start positive....

I'm at work and I'm clean, got to walk the dog and now I have make-up on and breakfast to eat.  I remembered my money for class and I promised myself I wouldn't work too hard here today.  I went home for Easter and that was wonderful and hard.  My Grandfather is not doing so well and he seemed depressed.  He isn't eating where he is staying - it's a lovely home but he doesn't like the diet he is on so he isn't eating and that is never good.  So I was limping around because of my back, my Father because of his knee - PopPop could barely walk at all and the dog is old too.  We were trying to help PopPop walk to the dining room table and he couldn't make it without his walker and my sister-in-law had him in a quite strong grip around his middle from the back and his arms were just dangling and he was like "Release the death grip will you??"  It was hilarious.  She is a VERY strong woman and I swear she was about to just throw him over his shoulder and walk off with him.  My nephews picked him up from the home and brought him back - how SWEET is that?  They are just kids - so cute.  My father was being so sweet with him too and my mother got drunk at the end of the night.  The dinner was wonderful but it was hard.  April is always a hard month for me - I'm not sure why.  It was really nice to spend extra time with the dog and on the train ride home I read and rested.  PopPop seemed better when he left and I felt very grateful to have spent time with the family.  I worked on my play for class and I was able to ask my father a bunch of questions about politics.  The plat takes place in the House of Representatives and do you know I had to stop reading there at first because I had no idea what THAT even meant.  So he (and my mother surprisingly) explained the whole process of getting a bill passed (or not) and then I was able to read the play.  My back started hurting on Saturday - maybe Friday - I can't remember but now often when I stand on my left side - shooting pain happens and I make this weird "Uhhhh" sound.  I think it is just the medicine affecting that part of my body.  I went to the Snake Doctor on Saturday and he said it's great and very exciting that I am having this reaction tot he medicine.  I don't know but I do know this - I was so tired last night after I got back from Ct. and I went to therapy and instead of going to my meditation meeting I went home and soaked my feet in a detox bath, gave myself a manicure and an enema - then took a shower and went to bed.  He told me to give myself enemas all the time also to help detox.  Of all the self-care things I am doing that is the trickiest by far.  Holy grossness and awkwardness.  Maybe I shouldn't say these things on here?  Whatever.  I am still reading The Happiness Project and it is really inspiring me.  Also in therapy yesterday she told me that I just need to let myself be more COMFORTABLE with my feelings that are negative - like rage or extreme dislike of someone.  So I practiced this morning when (SHOCKINGLY) Creepy was creeping me out.  I just practiced being comfortable with my clenched heart and extreme annoyance of his staring and - creepiness.  It's not like it has anything to do with me OR that let's say - he even wants to be that way.  Regardless - okay - so glad I got to write on here - now I am going to go write a gratitude list.  Bye Bluebers!!!  Love you!!!