Sign of growth.

I got home late Saturday night - 3 in the morning - from work. I went upstairs and was going to go right to bed but decided for some reason to put my stuff away - I don't remember why. I just realized during that somehow that I didn't have the keys for the boutique. I knew I put them in my pocket when I locked up and went to the comedy club but I couldn't find them.....I dumped out my purse - looked in my coat pockets five different times and knew that were not with me in my bedroom. They didn't feel gone but I knew I didn't have them. I had taken my house keys out of my pocket to get in the house and realized I must have pulled them out at the same time and they had to be on the ground out by the house. So down the stairs I went at 3:30 in the morning in Harlem - completely exhausted - to walk down the block to find my keys. Guess what? I found them - sitting right there by where I must have pulled out my house keys. I was so proud of myself for some reason. I would have never even known until the next day that I lost my keys if I was still drinking. I must also say that if I had just put the keys in my purse in the little pocket I usually put them in I would have never had them in my coat pocket to be pulled out of to begin with. I am so tired - I can NOT work Mondays - fuck that. I was so annoyed at getting up today and I didn't shower and I feel so gross. Plus I spend money when I am here - it's so stupid. Food is so expensive around here. Okay - Okay - so I don't have to work on Mondays!! I can't wait to go to bed. Am I growing? Am I changing? Today it doesn't feel like it even though I said there was a sign of it. Oh DEAR. I did get a lot done yesterday - I did my hair, my nails, cleaned and did laundry AND I walked and got to a meeting. Okay - I need to stop writing now. Bye Bluebie - love you.