Thursday, November 29, 2012
I had another weird dream last night. I was given a check for $48,000.00 by someone who felt guilty (I think?) for something and it was originally for a lot more - like $98,000.00. Okaaay - so then I dreamed I was trying to help this couple figure something out - like I was a detective right? Well as we were looking through pictures I noticed this man in all the pictures - that they said wasn't there when the pictures were taken. He was good looking - a little road hard but with the same piercing blue eyes as the head from the severed head dream. He was in the background of all the pictures - just there - it was so fucking strange. Like a ghost only he was alive - I guess. What the fuck is that? I also think that we were on a spaceship. Hahaaa - that made me laugh - it was something like a spaceship or - a sterile type environment. Seriously what am I talking about? I could NOT get out of bed today - I went to bed early but it was so fucking hot that I kept waking up and finally at 6:30 I turned the radiator down and fell back to sleep. By that time I should have just woken up. My alarm clock doesn't work anymore (neither does my biological clock) and so that didn't wake me up but it didn't matter because I just kept waking up and not being able to get up. I cleaned last night a bit when I got home - cleaned the humidifier, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen floor and changed the brita filter. I put up a coat rack up in the little "foyer" and took out the garbage. I also got groceries and other things I need but why would that make me so tired? I watched a bunch of Wilfred episodes which is a stupid show but it's better than nothing. Maybe that's why I am so tired - that mediocre show. I love the dog - he's great but I have such a hard time believing that Elijah Wood is a loser. He looks so healthy and he just - I don't know - I don't buy it. I don't totally buy him as a dude that's crazy enough to really think a dog is a person. But I do like the dog. Anyway - I think I decided I want to be single and I don't want kids. That's it. I just want to be free. I just don't care - I have enough to take care of in my life - like the humidifier. That needs a lot of upkeep. It's just too much for me. I can't have a humidifier AND a husband AND a baby AND get enough toilet paper and paper towels for the house. Yeah. There. Fuck it. I want to be single and free. Sounds pretty good right now. I feel good today despite not showering and being an hour late for work. This high should end any moment now but fuck it - for right now - fuck it. I'm free and I feel okay. Bye Blueberry - I love you. You're my baby!! Byeeeeee.