Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dream.

I had another weird dream last night.  I was given a check for $48,000.00 by someone who felt guilty (I think?) for something and it was originally for a lot more - like $98,000.00.  Okaaay - so then I dreamed I was trying to help this couple figure something out - like I was a detective right?  Well as we were looking through pictures I noticed this man in all the pictures - that they said wasn't there when the pictures were taken.  He was good looking - a little road hard but with the same piercing blue eyes as the head from the severed head dream.  He was in the background of all the pictures - just there - it was so fucking strange.  Like a ghost only he was alive - I guess.  What the fuck is that?  I also think that we were on a spaceship.  Hahaaa - that made me laugh - it was something like a spaceship or - a sterile type environment.  Seriously what am I talking about?  I could NOT get out of bed today - I went to bed early but it was so fucking hot that I kept waking up and finally at 6:30 I turned the radiator down and fell back to sleep.  By that time I should have just woken up.  My alarm clock doesn't work anymore (neither does my biological clock) and so that didn't wake me up but it didn't matter because I just kept waking up and not being able to get up.  I cleaned last night a bit when I got home - cleaned the humidifier, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen floor and changed the brita filter.  I put up a coat rack up in the little "foyer" and took out the garbage.  I also got groceries and other things I need but why would that make me so tired?  I watched a bunch of Wilfred episodes which is a stupid show but it's better than nothing.  Maybe that's why I am so tired - that mediocre show.  I love the dog - he's great but I have such a hard time believing that Elijah Wood is a loser.  He looks so healthy and he just - I don't know - I don't buy it.  I don't totally buy him as a dude that's crazy enough to really think a dog is a person.  But I do like the dog.  Anyway - I think I decided I want to be single and I don't want kids.  That's it.  I just want to be free.  I just don't care - I have enough to take care of in my life - like the humidifier.  That needs a lot of upkeep.  It's just too much for me.  I can't have a humidifier AND a husband AND a baby AND get enough toilet paper and paper towels for the house.  Yeah.  There.  Fuck it.  I want to be single and free.  Sounds pretty good right now.  I feel good today despite not showering and being an hour late for work.  This high should end any moment now but fuck it - for right now - fuck it.  I'm free and I feel okay.  Bye Blueberry - I love you.  You're my baby!!  Byeeeeee.

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