Over-stimulated and confused while also lying to myself about that guy at work.

Maybe I should have capitalized those words to make it a real title.  Huh?  I was supposed to talk to my alanon sponsor this morning - totally forgot BUT I woke up anyway - I just didn't know why and went back to sleep which wasn't even easy because my upstairs neighbor was using at least 2 vibrators at the same time.  I do NOT understand what happens up there and it seems like the only person who lives up there is a 70 year old man.  Who uses 2 vibrators?  I don't even like 1.  I remembered after my house guest was here last weekend that she had gone under my sink and gotten a pad - she must have had here period - I don't know - she left the strip in the garbage....well this morning I remembered that there is a vibrator under my sink in the same container as the pads.  It's just upright - right there under the sink.  Why do I even have it still?  I didn't like it at all.  Why am I writing this?  I am so over-stimulated and - bored.  I'm bored.  I keep trying to figure out - thinking about - that guy at work.  But here's the good part - I know I'm being crazy and I told someone about it.  It's so strange - I don't even like him.  I mean - I like him - he's a nice guy but - I don't LIKE him.  My stomach hurt when I wrote that.  I just want something - that's so terrible and not romantic.  It's so gross.  Okay - but at least I'm figuring it out.  Who wants to be rigorously honest?  It's fucking impossible.  Class starts again next week and I need to work on this monologue.  I don't want to.  Once again it's so slow here.  I forget I'm even at work.  I was on time today so that's good.  I'm clean.  Okay - bye.