Wednesday.

Heya Bluebie - what's uuupp?? Princess Boris The turd came back and was a big fucking turd. I worried about that kid - tried even calling Cretona to see if he had an email and nothing. Then he comes back and I said I was worried and he said - I'm not even kidding "Of course" and then walked out back and smoked a cigarette under my window. Sorry - like 40 cigarettes. Weeeelll so there you go. At least he's safe and alive - yikes. Creepy gave him money to buy beer as soon as he got home. He also asked me to talk to him and thank God I just went upstairs and watched an episode of House. I had class last night and I was so happy from that that I just didn't even really care about Princess Boris The Turd. I took care of myself and today I woke up early and actually managed to do the tiniest bit of Yoga. I figured I can give myself a challenge of doing it all the time. I figured it's better to start out sloppy and goofy rather than not at all. I will get better. The class was amazing. It was so amazing that I ran away afterwards. I was so shocked at doing the work I was assigned actually - worked. I mean that I understood what I was supposed to do and - Jesus - I can't even talk about it. This is so fucking precious to me right now. It's so fucking amazing. He really like my work also - which is - awesome. The class seemed to like it - I don't know - there is so much love in the room and I just - it's so scary. I really had that I want to lay down feeling all day and I really even told myself a tone point that I didn't have to go there - or my meeting - I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to. Then I remembered that that was what I was like when I was drinking and smoking pot. I was such a disaster and always being like "I'm free!! I can do whatever I want - I'm my own person!!!" Riiiiight. So now I have some more things to work on and one of them is giving myself the permission to not edit myself as I am acting. Or doing any kind of art for that matter. I can still feel it in me but at least I understand what it is that needs to be - not used I guess. The best way to shrink a muscle is not use it. I'm so excited to have class again on Friday!! Alrighty - gotta go help shoppers. Love you Bluebie!!