Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I have a doctor's appointment

for tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m. I never left the house today and that was awesome. Melissa came over and brought food and presents and it was so sweet I don't even know how to take it in. It was really what I needed. I am so tired. I really wanted to see her but I didn't want to go downtown or leave the huse. So I have this appointment tomorrow and he will have checked the bloodwork and I can show him my swollen feet and ankles and my fucked up fingernails. I will also tell him about starting to get sore at the gyma round this time last year and - well I can't remember what else. I got some Melatonin from the health food store and I think it helped me to sleep last night. My dreams weren't as bad and I fell asleep before 8:00 a.m. which is awesome. So - I'm nervous for tomorrow but I'm glad it's early and maybe I can make a couple of meetings. That was so nice of Melissa - she has been such agood friend to me. Well - so I guess they talked tot hat guy at work and he got all upset and I don't know. I just need to heal right now. And rest. So it's 11:30 p.m. which is so much earlier than I usually start to rest for the night. I am going to wrap this up and get in bed. And for the next couple of months I am going to focus on healing and rest and listening to my body. For the nex 2 months and the rest of this month I am letting myself do what my body wants. What feels good. I'm sick of thinking and it doesn't work for me. I am going to eat what feels good and move in a way that feels good. Just do what feels GOOD and rest. Jesus - I'm - I can't believe how hard this is. I am finally at that stage in my recovery where I am cleaning out me. I am detoxing out so much OLD stuff it's nuts. Major, major emotional and mental overhaul. Construction commence. I love you - I miss you - I will talk to you soon. Heart. :)

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