That didn't work out so great! I was up until like 1:00 in the morning ugh. Oh well - it was fun while I was drinking it. Well I wish things were better in the world and in this country but it's still a shitshow. It's hot as fuck and okay this isn't very positive. I'm so in the hallway.
I just need to be patient and pray for - patience. We just went away for the weekend and it was so nice. Was very weird traveling - we just drove but it was still super odd. Quiet at the rest stops - everything closed. Masks. I keep turning things over to God. My anxiety - my anxious thoughts. The care of people I love. Their feelings and anxiety. I know it's up to me - what happens inside me is up to me. It's hard to trust. It's hard to take care of myself, my inner life, while also being in the world - especially now. I am continuing to practice. If I stay sober one day at a time I have a chance. And the more I work towards serenity the more I really have a chance. It seems like I shouldn't want to be serene with everything that is going on but that's a mental trap and it's not true.
There is a way to stay informed and involved without hurting myself. But first and foremost I have to take care of myself - or I can not help anyone or anything. Or even figure out what it is I am meant to do on this earth.
Wooo. Okay - love you Bluebie bye.
No comments:
Post a Comment