Huh!

I have not written very much this year.  How odd.  I have been digging deep though - that's for sure.  And well - it happens.  I wrote other things and well - who the fuuuuck cares - am I right?  Okay so - I forgot what I was going to say.  Huh.

Well anyway I am having a nice day - I went for a nice long walk in the sunshine.  It has cooled off and the flowers, birds and fresh air did me good.  I am feeling better in general.  As I get a hold on my thoughts I am beginning to experience more freedom in my body.  I also am really paying close attention to the level of serenity I am allowing myself to have at any given point in the day.  It's a wonderful tool.  There are so many tools.  I have so many ways to help myself now and it really is empowering.  So.

So what the fuck is going to happen next?  Our world is at such a crucial point in time it seems.  Can we survive?  Can we change?  Can we adjust?  Can more people walk the road less traveled?  Take the path to the new frontier of spirituality and - health?  I don't know.  Jesus I wrote that and then I wanted McDonald's.  What the fuck is that??

Well one thing is for sure - things right now are - for me - going very slowly.  And that's okay.  I had no idea how much inner work I needed to do.  I had no idea how the negative thinking was effecting (affecting?) my usefulness as a (one small simple) person on this planet.  I also really, honestly and truly didn't realize - not taking care of myself is not helpful to ANYONE ELSE. And my mind is someplace that I am also responsible for.

So as they say (I think in the program?) - this is where the rubber meets the road because it is GROWN UP TIME.  Fuuuucking barf am I right?  Haha I am just kidding but wow.  Yeah.  Be kind and responsible - but for myself first.  In a healthy way.  Did you hear about that 14,000 year old puppy they found in the ice?  I guess 10 years ago but I just read about it now.  So wild.  So wild what this world has been and what it has gone through.  All the beings and people that have journeyed around it.  I was just going to sign off with some DRAMATIC statement about my sobriety but I think I will just say

Byyyeeeeeee!