Hi Bluebie.

I'm here a the boutique and it's the end of the day. It was quiet today and boring. I am trying to ween myself off of coffee and spending a million dollars on delivery food. I left today and went and got myself water which was great. I got a burger without fries and I only ate half of it. Miracles really do happen. I managed to not order anything else and I am bored out of my mind. I looked at boots online for 5 hours. I can't afford any right now and all I want to do is buy boots. I don't even NEED boots. I really don't. Do you know what I was going to do instead? Buy and orange dress and nude pumps. Um - what? So instead of spending money I can't spend on boots - I was going to spend it on a dress and shoes?? How insane is that? What the heck? Am I really going to be single forever? Is that the rest of my life? How crazy is that?? I really did the best job I cold taking care of myself yesterday and today. I went to bed - I got ready for bed, I cleaned the humidifier, I put on clean pj's, I prayed and meditated when I woke up, I took a shower and I didn't just totally stuff my face while I was here. I didn't get to walk the dog - I was running so late and honestly I would have been just as late if I walked her. She was so confused. I need hand creme. Oh I also gave myself a manicure last night. Jeez. I went to therapy and a meeting and avoided hanging out with people because I knew it would make me angry and not get enough rest. My shoulders hurt. I'm going to go now. Once again I love you Blueberry - thank you for listening.