I'm sitting here.....

waiting for the boy to show up.  The boy who is a man.  He got called into work in the middle of our date.  I came back here and tried to put up these shelves I bought weeks ago and they fell down.  The wall is a mess and has a lot of holes in it so I stopped.  I cleaned everything up and I decided to try again never to put those shelves up.  They are cute.  Cute and dangerous - it hurt when they fell on me.  I could NOT work anymore tonight - I was happy to be here.  This week was crazy between working both jobs and Christmas.  I feel like I am going to cry right now.  I am so confused.  What am I doing?  Is this crazy with this guy?  Why am I waiting for him?  Because I like him but I want to lay down.  I did lay down.  I laid down and slept for a couple of minutes and then I went upside down and did some mild meditation mixed with obsession.  I love this laptop.  It's on my lap.  I'm just exhausted.  I should play my ukulele.  Can you believe it someone else here fucking smokes.  It's not as bad.  How is this so boring?  How am I waiting for someone?  I'm so happy to be home.  It's quiet, I did all my laundry, the dishes are done, the bathroom is clean.  I cleaned the humidifier and that is going with essential oils in it.  THIS IS SO BORING.  I'm scared and bored.  Oh that made me laugh.  Scared and bored.  That's some sexy shit right there - some seriously hot, sexy shit.  The dog just fell out of her bed and it's a half inch off the ground.  I just want to have kind, mind blowing sex.  That's all.  I'm fighting a cold and insanity.  WHAT AM I DOING???  Bye Bluebie - I love you and I miss you.