Friday, May 14, 2010

I just cleaned

Whoa - I just cleaned my room. I dusted and vacuumed. It tokk over 2 hours. I also cleaned the dog, cleaned out her ears and gave her her heartworm medication. She always hides under the bed after I do her ears - she hates it. I'm so happy I took the time - oh I also cleaned the mirrors in the bathroom and the one by my bed. I cleaned the bathroom last week. I'll do it again on Sunday maybe? Anyway I used to let things get pretty bad when I was drinking and smoking pot. Pretty is such a weird adjective to use when describing how NOT pretty things were. Dog included. And me?? I must have smelled so bad. Horrendous. I wouldn't change my clothes for weeks at a time sometimes. I would wear them around the clock. Sleep in them and everything. Never shower - once a week when I was doing okay. I have a lot of hair (on my head) and boy - it gets NASTY when not washed. And I would juuuust ignore it. I can't believe I used to live like that - only 8 months ago. I was such a sick sick person. After I quailified last night and I heard my own story again I was shocked. I was really - just a mess. An angry rageful mess. I'm really grateful that right now I'm just a tiny bit mad still I got woken up by garbage trucks this morning. And that I could clean and wash my sheets before work. Right now my life is tiny bit boring - not so FABULOUS - but I need this. I need calm and clean. I realized once I got sober that if I don't wash my hair when it's dirty I get really confused and I start to get annoyed and frustrated. I recognize this is probably something people realize at 5 but what can I say - I just did. Anyway I'm going to have to say the same goes for my room and my bathroom. They have to be clean - or reasonble so (I do have a dog and live in Harlem which make spic and span cleaning a bit tricky) OR I'm a little extra coo-coo. I always liked that word coo-coo. I guess it's 2. Anyway I like it. I have to get ready for work which I need to work tonight - I need the money. Well and I also need the company and to stay busy taking care of myself. Everyone needs the money!! So I have to shower but maybe I will remember to blog again when I get home. I love you and your blueberry dreams.

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