Wednesday, November 21, 2018

The Power of YOUR Subconscious Mind

Ha!  That's the name of the book.  OH WELL - the point is still the same - the book is great, I love it and I'm learning from it.  It's of course the same thing - we are what we think.  But somehow this one is speaking to me even more.  I guess because I have worked often from the subconscious mind.  When I go into a store I use my intuition, my under place - my other thought place to help me find what I want.  It's like a dolphin type thing - I sort of throw it out there and let myself be guided to it.  When it's working - other times I ASK where the fuck it is like normal people.  anyway I can feel the hugeness of my subconscious and I am tapping into it more.  So there you go.  He also talks about how feeling jealous and negative towards other people - how awful that is for us - because whatever we think - the subconscious creates.  It doesn't know good or bad - just directions.  I feel like I am not saying this correctly but even if I'm not - it feels AWFUL to be jealous and think bad things about other people.  I am just OVER IT.  Honestly it is so so sooooo much better than it used to be but social media - YIKES - that can really do it to me.  So of course the answer is - don't go on social media. Hahahaha - my arm hurts when I go like this - then DON'T GO LIKE THIS.  I am so tired.  I have been fighting a cold although I feel better.  I have been jogging and doing a little bit of yoga each time before I jog so that's good.  I feel better in my body.  I also have been doing my physical therapy exercises on my boob and that also seems like it is getting better from the lymphedema.  I have been going to auditions and yesterday I went on one and it was good but I didn't get the joke until I was done.  I looked a little rough though - it's hard to make the wig look good sometimes and now my hair is like a little puff ball on my head so it pokes out from under the wig.  I have a wig cap but it is SO TIGHT it gives me a headache in like 20 minutes.  Oh you know I just realized I could probably get some nylons and make my own that's less tight.  I was so upset that I didn't get this TV show that I was "pinned" for which is like hold did I already say this ANYWAY - didn't get it and then I didn't do great yesterday BUT - seriously - I am still in treatment and I really have to be careful with myself so there is some reason things are slow for me right now and I am just trying to take the best care of myself I can and slowly move forward.  I have chemo on Tuesday and an echo on Monday.  The chemo I'm on now can cause heart damage so they keep checking your heart while you are on it to make sure they can keep giving it to you.  Sigh - that sounds so crazy to write.  I have a show tonight and then tomorrow is Thanksgiving which will be so nice.  Wow - I am SLEEPY.  I'm going to meditate again and drink some coffee.  MY guy always makes fun of me that I drink coffee and meditate - I guess it does seem weird.  LISTEN TO YUR SUBCONSCIOUS - it will guide you where you need to go.  Looooove Bluebie bye.

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