Friday, November 16, 2018
The Power of The Subconscious Mind
That's the boo I'm reading right now - the snake doctor told me to read it and it's BLOWING MY MIND. I probably already wrote I was reading it but I can't remember anything - my chemo brain is FOR REAL. OMG. But - it will get better. Everything is going to get better. Something has shifted and I feel better. I have gotten to more meeting and something has shifted. I have decided to not produce shows anymore - except for the one that is already planned and then I can continue to take care of myself, heal focus on sobriety, acting and I have no idea what else. I have an idea for a script - it would be really fun to write it. Yeah. So - there has been a shift. I had a good week with acting and also something is shifting for me with money. I can feel love and lightness coming to me. Lots of people - bright colors. I am not exactly sure what is happening but it's creative bright and fun. Abundant. Manageable. Loving. Kind. Fun. CUTE OUTFITS. Hello VERY IMPORTANT. I am so tired but it's okay. I am going to exercise right now. I have to get to it because the guy needs to come home and use the treadmill also. Holy shit it snowed last night - like SUPER FAST AND A TON of snow and there were cars just turned and parked ALL OVER THE PLACE. Just stuck - I mean like a ton of cars. It looked like the fucking apocalypse - we all had to snake around them slowly. It took me 2 hours to drive 12 miles? Maybe even less - 10? AND I HAD NO GAS - I was freaking out. I got to me house just as it said empty. I hope I make it to the gas station today. Oh - I should go and do that actually. Yeah so. Thank God I have a Subaru - they are good in the snow. How crazy is it that I was such a fucking disaster last week and over the weekend and now I feel hopeful? It's not bullshit either I do feel lighter and more positive. Pain really is the touchstone of growth and for me I have to be in such wild, awful pain before I will change something. Time to exercise. I LOVE YOU. Byeeee.