Dont know if this is going to work.

I mean what am I doing?  Im middle fucking aged for fuck's sake.  Im running all over town doing shows that no one sees me at.  Or no - that's not even it.  I don't even have time to write.  I mean I go and do these shows and then I have no real material - or that's how it feels.  Maybe Im just not funny and I really cant do this job.  That never actually occurred ot me before to actually question whether or not I can do this job.  I mean I really don't know.  Im fucking exhausted and I have no money.  I mean Im so broke.  Oh good lord I don't know.  This is just totally crazy.  What would I do if I could do anything in the world?  I would dance, sing and act.  I would do comedy too but I would do it differently.  I mean god LORD.  I have to go to bed - Im so tired.  Im grateful but Im tired.  What?  Im not grateful Im angry.  BLECH.  Love you Bluebie bye.