Hi.

It's Tuesday and I am here at the store again.  Oh boy.  I'm so tired - I hosted a show last night at 11:00 at night and then the trains were all a mess so it took me forever to get home.  It was a fun show though and I'm so happy I did it.  I got up early and went and got one of my last checks from the restaurant.  Wow - wow what?  I don't know - this store is a mess right now - so many women come in during the summer and trash it but I get tired of putting it all back together.  Okay - so I'm just writing on here and then putting it back together.  Do you know I felt sort of left out last night around the other comedians.  I'm not out there enough and I don't know - I just felt left out.  But also I kept trying to act like I'm not also and angry, bitter comedian whose annoyed at doing a show at 11:00 at night.  Maybe I'm not AS angry and bitter.  I just felt inauthentic - BARF.  Plus I was caring what people thin about me - MORE BARF.  Fucking jeez.  I also never write so - so all of my material - UGH - why am I beating myself up??  Here's the thing - if I want to do comedy I need to write and I need to fucking figure out how the fuck to do that.  Seriously.  When is mercury out of retrograde I need a new phone.  Love you Bluebie bye.