Okaaay.

Well - well so I went home last night and made myself dinner and watched some shows, wrote a little bit and went to bed so early.  I had no idea I was supposed to get my period today.  I have been so stressed about money and I can tell she won't come in today and pay me and oh well.  I'm fed, my bills are paid - I'm okay.  Here's the thing - I'm having a total panic about not waitressing but it's just going to have to happen and if it's this hard - me continuing to do - waitressing - it would only get harder to stop.  What am I talking about?  Changing my life patterns.  Okay I'm so sleepy - holy shit.  Okay - well - Jesus - time has slowed down.  This is what getting sober felt like.  I am so - okay - I am going to make some phone calls and try to help some people and stop thinking about myself.  So I made a change and now I'm uncomfortable - that's OKAY.  Okay - love you Bluebie bye. ps WHO HAS TO GET SOBER FROM NOT WAITRESSING??  What the fuck.