Done.

I'm so done being a waitress.  This - I know - I have been saying for years but it has suddenly just become intolerable and I can't even do it well suddenly also.  I don't know - if I ever did.  It's just the next layer of the onion - it really is and I just have to get my ass out there and get a different job - no big deal.  What?  I can't even tell you how hard it is to not just give my notice - I'm done I'm over it - that's it.  Unreal.  I feel like I am carrying a backpack trying to climb a mountain and it has like 12 outfits in it.  I would just ditch that fucking backpack right?  Just be like "Fuck this backpack - fuck these outfits - who fucking cares???"  After I left that job today I was soooo burnt out and I went to therapy, skipped my acting class, came home, took a bath, meditated and did yoga and THEN I finally felt a little bit better.  What the fuck kind of job is that???  It's so crazy - this is as crazy as me living in that Bed & Breakfast and not being able to leave - I mean this just simply isn't how my life needs or has to be.  Okay well so I will talk about this for the next 2 years and eventually leave this job to MANAGE some other horrifying place.  NO I WILL FUCKING NOT.  I WILL GET MYSELF ANOTHER JOB JESUS FUCKING MARY AND JOSEPH CHRIST.  Amen.  Bye.