I THINK MY BRAIN IS HEALING

I know this is going to sound crazy and maybe I am just imaging it but - MAYBE NOT.  So I had that breakthrough right?  And I read that book about the power of the subconscious mind and the pamphlet about going on a brain diet - okay - WELL.  Last night I was driving home - it doesn't matter - I had a thought and it was negative and it was a bout a friend whom (who?) I have a strained relationship with.  Or at least that's what I was thinking about.  Then suddenly I has this INCREDIBLY healthy thought about our relationship and I could feel something in my brain literally shift.  God I don't even know if I can explain it.  It's like I could feel my thoughts move to a healthier part of my brain or at least move away from that old, conditioned grooved place of negative, victim thinking.  So I told my guy and I started to research this one supplement the snake doctor gave me (he said that many people who get cancer are low on this antioxidant?  Omg I don't even know what the fuck it is but it tastes like pineapples) and it's the only thing I have been taking that I have never taken before or could be doing much of anything.  I mean I have obviously no fucking clue scientifically what I am talking about but the way my brain feels is that it's healing.  It's changing!  My thoughts are different and from - more of a place of power.  It feels like I am thinking more the way I used to think 20 years ago.  Of course I woke up this morning and was thinking negatively and blah blah but I did my thing, prayed & meditated and I felt much better by the time I was done meditating.  I researched the - okay I just looked it up - it's an antioxidant and it's called glutathione - I researched a little more the glutathione and yes it can help with brain health.  It's a super antioxidant.  Look it may also be that I am in therapy, go to alanon, go to AA and now that I am operating more from my subconscious - no no that's not it.  GOD THIS IS SO HARD TO PUT INTO WORDS.  Now that I am putting stuff more in my subconscious and letting my subconscious work it out - I am much less obsessed and thinking about things.  Who the fuck knows.  I just realized me writing this doesn't make it sound like I am thinking LESS ABOUT ANYTHING - haha.  I'm sure it's recovery all around.  We recover what we lost.  I lost my mind and my power and perhaps now I am finally getting them back a little bit.  Okay well anyway I am so tired.  I just have a phone session with the snake doctor and then the kids and my meeting and service tonight.  Then I can go to bed early!  Alrighty well there you go.  Feeling my brain thinking - that's what's going on over here!  Love you Bluebie byeeee.